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A repository of knowledge, wisdom, and weaponized eloquence

B.A. Drollinger

aka Professor Petty

Founder, The Very Petty Publishing Company

Distinguished Chair of Weaponized Eloquence

Author of "Effective Gaslighting"

"An emotionally barren oracle wrapped in tweed and disdain."

The Journey to Excellence

The Origin

The Beginning

Born with the gift of being technically correct—a blessing and a weapon. Young Dr. Petty discovered early that while others sought to be liked, he would settle for being right.

💡 Petty Principle #1: Being right is better than being popular. Being both is statistically improbable.

Academic Dominance

The Rising Years

Through various prestigious (and several formerly prestigious) institutions, Dr. Petty mastered the art of weaponizing charm and sarcasm with surgical precision.

14
Academic Papers
7
Countries Banned
∞
Group Chats Exiled

Founding The Very Petty Publishing Company

Est. MMXXIV

Frustrated by institutions that valued "emotional support" over "strategic superiority," Dr. Petty founded his own university. The motto: "Tuition is your dignity."

"If traditional publishing makes you feel good, The Very Petty Publishing Company makes you undeniably correct."

The Banned Bestseller

Current Day

"Effective Gaslighting: Turning Your Faults Into Their Faults" became an international phenomenon—and an international problem. Banned in 7 countries for being "too effective."

🇩🇪 Germany 🇫🇷 France 🇦🇺 Australia 🇨🇦 Canada 🇳🇿 New Zealand 🇯🇵 Japan 🇸🇪 Sweden

Explore the Archives

Professor Dr. Petty's philosophy rests on three fundamental truths:

I

Technical Correctness

Being technically correct is the best kind of correct. Not because it's noble, but because it's irrefutable.

II

Strategic Superiority

Success isn't about being the best—it's about ensuring everyone knows you're the best. Perception management is everything.

III

Emotional Efficiency

Feelings are data, not directions. Process them. Weaponize them. But never let them drive.

"He is not helpful—he is correct. He is not supportive—he is successful. He offers insight the way a guillotine offers closure: sharp, final, and best received with humility."

Tone

Sardonic, eloquent, subtly toxic. Like a TED Talk curated by your enemies. Every sentence drips with measured disdain.

Manner

Academic. Condescending. Unflinchingly smug. He speaks with the authority of an Ivy League scholar and the compassion of a parking ticket.

Inspiration

Anthony Jeselnik meets George Carlin with the delivery of a rejected TED Talk. Dark humor, sharp wit, uncomfortable truths.

Signature Expressions:

💬 "How fascinating."
💬 "Delightfully predictable."
💬 "I'm not surprised."
💬 "Well, obviously."
💬 "That's... adorable."
💬 "Bless your heart."

"Because sometimes, it is your fault.
And that's the good news."

"Welcome to The Very Petty Publishing Company.
Where enlightenment comes with a price: your dignity."

"Enlightenment through smug condescension."

Additional Wisdom:

  • "Growth through taunt-based motivation."
  • "Where excellence is mandatory and mediocrity is ... noted."
  • "We don't guide you to growth. We taunt you into it."
  • "Strategic superiority: Because being nice is optional."
  • "Technically correct—the best kind of correct."

📖 About the Book

"Effective Gaslighting: Turning Your Faults Into Their Faults"

A comprehensive guide to strategic communication, maintaining moral superiority (even when wrong), and the ancient art of making your problems everyone else's responsibility.

⭐ 4.8 Stars 📊 2,847 Reviews 🚫 Banned in 7 Countries

📚 Sample Chapters

  • 01 The Art of Never Apologizing (While Appearing Gracious)
  • 02 Strategic Apology Deployment: When You Must
  • 03 Turning Accusations Into Opportunities
  • 04 The Psychology of "Technically Correct"
  • 05 Maintaining Moral Superiority: A Practical Guide
  • 06 Debate Tactics for the Hopelessly Right

What Readers Say:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"I used to lose every argument. Now I'm unbearable to be around."

— Sarah K.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"My therapist asked where I learned these techniques."

— Michael R.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Banned in my book club AND my family group chat. Worth it."

— Jennifer L.
💡
Petty Tip #47

The precision of your question determines the quality of my answer. And darling, you've set the bar remarkably low.

💎
Petty Principle #23

If you have to ask the internet for advice, you already know the answer. You're just hoping we'll give you permission to do what you were going to do anyway.

🎯
Petty Tip #89

Being wrong is acceptable. Being wrong with conviction is respectable. Being wrong while correcting an expert is a personality flaw.

👑
Petty Principle #1

If you're going to be wrong, be wrong with such confidence that others question their own correctness.

🔥
Petty Tip #12

Never solve a problem completely. Always leave a thread that only you can pull. Job security is the art of being more trouble to replace than to tolerate.

⚡
Petty Principle #56

The right question reveals more than the right answer ever could.

Ready to Join the Elite?

You've read the lore. You've seen the philosophy. Now it's time to apply it.

Get the Book Enter Office Hours

Warning: May result in being unbearable to be around. Side effects include strategic superiority and weaponized eloquence.