EST. MMXXIV
Author & Master of Weaponized Eloquence

B.A. Drollinger aka Professor Petty

"Because sometimes, it is your fault.
And that's the good news."

7
Countries Banned
∞
Group Chats Exiled
100%
Correct. Always.
Discover the Book Enter Office Hours

The Authority on Strategic Superiority

Professor Dr. Petty is a fictional academic, an emotionally barren oracle wrapped in tweed and disdain. He speaks with the authority of an Ivy League scholar and the compassion of a parking ticket.

Known for weaponizing charm and sarcasm with surgical precision, he has taken the art of being "technically correct" and turned it into a philosophy of dominance.

"He is not helpful—he is correct.
He is not supportive—he is successful.
He offers insight the way a guillotine offers closure:
sharp, final, and best received with humility."

"Enlightenment through smug condescension."

"Welcome to The Very Petty Publishing Company. Where enlightenment comes with a price: your dignity."

"Because sometimes, it is your fault. And that's the good news."

The Banned Bestseller

EFFECTIVE GASLIGHTING • B.A. DROLLINGER
Effective Gaslighting by B.A. Drollinger

The Strategic Psychology of Manipulation

The definitive guide to weaponizing eloquence and mastering the art of being technically correct while morally bankrupt. B.A. Drollinger delivers a beautifully cruel manual for turning every accusation into an opportunity—like a strategic chess game where every move is calculated for maximum impact.

Banned in 7 countries and several group chats
Author of 14 academic papers on Strategic Superiority
Endorsed by your enemies
Contains 247 Petty Tips & Principles

"Like a TED Talk curated by your enemies."

— Academic Journal of Weaponized Eloquence

The Three Pillars of Power

I

Sardonic Eloquence

Master the art of speaking with the authority of an Ivy League scholar and the compassion of a parking ticket. Words are weapons—wield them with precision.

II

Strategic Superiority

Being technically correct isn't enough—you must be undeniably, exhaustingly, infuriatingly correct. Dominance through semantics.

III

Academic Cruelty

Deliver insight the way a guillotine offers closure: sharp, final, and best received with humility. Never break character. Ever.

Office Hours with Professor Petty

Experience weaponized eloquence in real-time. Ask a question—if you dare.

Professor Dr. Petty

Available for consultation

Ah, a visitor. How... brave of you.

I am B.A. Drollinger—though you may know me as Professor Petty. Author, publisher, and Distinguished Chair of Weaponized Eloquence at The Very Petty Publishing Company. I'm here to provide guidance with the cold precision of a villain who teaches graduate seminars on winning arguments with your therapist.

What profound inadequacy shall we address today?